Bra-a-army

Why do women start browsing for new underwear the minute a new guy appears in their life? Is it some kind of a ritual like preparing your troops for the battle? Getting the soldiers ready for a march, two by two, let's form a row, and protect the general hiding in the ditch! :D No, seriously, why is it mandatory to buy a new lingerie set for every guy that is planed to be deported south of the border? It's not like the pink leopard set with lace ruffles from last month got hit and wounded! Maybe we are afraid that somebody is trading secrets behind the enemy lines? Document's full of information on force members, captains ''boy-shorts'' raising range, and sergeants ''balcony-bra'' push up. :D

I must admit, after a few battles, it becomes more and more demanding. Every new troupe has to be better and more expensive than the last one. Also, the valley and the hills suffer, because let's be honest, each soldier leaves a mark, not to mention all the tree cutting which is repeated down south, again, and again, and again.

Rarely somebody wins in this vicious circle. Less fortunate ones are usually brought to the cemetery in your drawer, which is getting bigger every day. You feel bad for the pour saps, so instead of cremating them they end up stacked on one pile forever.

The conclusion of this twisted boot camp lesson (if you understood it at all) is to avoid Victoria's Secret once meeting the newest Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now. :D